I found you!!. My second love.

I found my long lost ketchup jug. A 6 pound jug of ketchup!!!. oh yeah.

I was sad that i could not find my bottle. It was in front of me all along. I bought 6 of those puppies about a year ago.
One was donated to the Grasshopper fund, one was used up by me as soon as i got it, and the other 3 were taken into good homes. So, when i found the jug i was frantically looking for my pump (you know, the ones that are in McDonalds).
Here i am putting food on my ketchup. I found the perfect spot for the pump in the fridge. Good times...

Would you like a free gift?

"Would you like a free gift"? she asked. The sound of her voice is almost as painful as nails on a chalkboard. One of the first sentences i heard this Sunday. Sunday was a very busy day. So much so that i do not remember it. Sure its contradicting but believe me when i say the hotel industry is time consuming and tiring. Next time you go to a hotel remember how much work went to welcoming you. Yes you. "Just get settled in and come back for a free gift", Guendy (wendy). Her job is to sell timeshares to anyone that passes by the lobby. There are some people that i do not enjoy conversations with. This is one of them. Some of the questions that come from this person are annoying. Comments like "i was hot when i was young" and "i love purple". All this is said while her cellphone was hanging by her neck. Purple is all i see. It is her favorite color. Back in July i did not even want to sit down and eat in the same cafeteria as her. When you spot her in the cafeteria you go the other way. My boss shares my enthusiasm towards her. In reality if you are a busy person, the last thing tht you want is someone making idle conversation to you when you have a million things going on in your brain. Sometimes when there are new employees i send them her way, just for the fun of it.
One day i said to myself enough. I sat down and wanted to play her game. So i stopped by and talked to her in her sitting area. "how are you", i said through my teeth not opening my mouth, knowing that this would hurt. "how are you louie". (yuk face came on). "oh these guests are not interested today...dljsdjhvui...adsfhvuauva..."
The only reason i came out of my coma was that someone passed by with fries on their ketchup. "i gotta go Guens". "thanks for talking to me". Thanks for talking to me, rang in my ear as i left. She meant it in a sincere way. Anywho, by the end of August i had learned that she is a grandmother, had twin boys (not ready for them), both successful, she was just in a car accident, had to have her nail removed due to an infection from pulling a hangnail... the list goes on. Talk to your seniors, they have a ton of knowledge. "Come back for your free gift"

The results are in.

I almost forgot i did this study in which was going to end all speculation and debate about following foods. The issue is Which one makes you toot the most?
Here are the challengers.
Broccoli, Beans, and Indian food.
This weeks challengers were pre-selected 2 weeks ago.
First the Broccoli. After a couple of days of eating broccoli for dinner i had experienced consistent tooting throughout the day and night. Smell factor was 5 on a 1-10 scale.

Up next were the beans. I had cooked them myself. 2 days of bean meals resulted in a 7.5 in the smell factor scale. It did stay in the system the entire time consumed and earned a half a point extra for lasting lingering effect minutes after gas deployment.

Last but not least was the Indian food. I must say that i enjoy eating all the items in this study ( although i do not discriminate any type of food)
Indian food was great!!. Ranking was off the charts!! It received extra points for long lasting effect, being silent (aka silent killers), and doing the greatest damage to nasal passages. One meal did all this damage.

Test subjects were both male and females. One main source for my test results came from my wife. Factors were, how fast she would look at me to mention about the gas cloud after deployment and complaining (her nose has built up a certain amount of tolerance after being with me for a couple of years). My co-workers were included also. I would notice their reaction when they unexpectedly walked into a cloud of warm air left behind by yours truly. I would have to say that one of my best friends almost tainted the study. I realized this when Grasshopper let one go next to my own cloud of "darkness". I felt that since i taught him everything i know including a "tooting cloud" that our clouds were to stay parallel to each other and not contaminate or merge with each other to make a super warm tooting cloud (memo to self, collaborate with grasshopper to make super cloud).

All test subjects were only exposed to brief periods of disconfort. No noses were harmed in this study.

Seniors, please stay at home.

Oh my gosh. Today is not labor day.... It is grandparent day. I went for a 30 mile drive doing errands. High noon, so its in the high 90's and humid. 12pm. What the heck are seniors doing outside at that time of day. They were everywhere. On the freeway, in the grocery store, walking outside... i was on the freeway and one of them did not see me in his blind spot. Another snuck into my blind spot while i was changing lanes. I saw what looked like a retired general in an RV trucking along. In the store i smiled at 4 of them by accident (for some reason i was still in work mode, 10 feet make eye contact, at 5 feets greet them). What ever happened to the good old driving miss Daisy days? Or having their sons or daughters drive them around? just remember to leave the window cracked down a tad when you leave them in the car.
In any case, they need to be inactive when its hot. They do suffer the most during summers. Stay at home grandma/pa.